Couple Therapy
Appointment requests
I can support you in my practice or online. In all cases personally and individually.
Monday to Friday, from 09:00 to 19:00
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Couple therapy with Susan Mir in Mainz
Seize opportunities
Accompanied by a neutral discussion partner, the topics that are burdening your relationship are explored. If arguments, accusations or silence prevail in a partnership, couple counselling offers many opportunities . Can we learn to communicate with each other? Is our relationship still valuable after one partner has been untrue?
Mediation is a way to better understand your partner’s behaviour. Your own reactions will then also become clearer. It is important to perceive yourself as an independent person and to become aware of your feelings in order to then find a way forward. As soon as these connections and patterns become visible, a change of perspective is possible and you will be happier in your relationship.
Can you benefit from couple counselling even if you want to separate?
One goal of therapy can be to find out whether it is better to separate or to be counselled in the event of a separation . Discussing and understanding the reasons will reduce acrimonious communication and and support respectful interaction.
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ANALYSING THE PROBLEM
Learning to understand dispute
From my many years of experience as a couples therapist, I know that hardly any couple is able to grasp the actual problem in the relationship or even to describe it to some extent. As a rule, there is mutual finger pointing , which is sometimes more and sometimes less specific. A thorough analysis is therefore required at the beginning of every couple therapy in order to identify the core problem of the relationship . Partners often don’t want to admit to themselves what’s bothering them, and prefer to engage instead in petty arguments.
The couple argues about money, the color of the carpet or the famous unclosed tube of toothpaste. In reality, a partner feels neglected or limited in their self-actualisation. The aim of the analysis is to identify the core problem.
Your topics
Appreciation, understanding and acceptance of people who seek help.
COUPLE COUNSELLING - WORKING TOGETHER
You come to couple counselling because you want to live together in harmony, you are burdened by your partner’s infidelity, or you are beginning to think about separation. In our first step, you learn to listen to the other person and to understand what moves him or her. But couple therapy is not only about your partner, but also about yourself. Only if you recognise your needs and can articulate them, is there a chance that your partner will also recognise and respect them.
In couple therapy, we discuss topics such as beliefs, systems of value and fears.
I work with you to find a way to connect your wants and needs with those of your partner. As soon as this succeeds, you can experience partnership in a new way.
The goal may well change during the course of the therapy. Couples who are determined to separate may realise that they would rather stay together. Others realise that a peaceful separation is better for them and their children.
Contact us
Contact me now by e-mail or phone and tell me about your concerns. If I am not available, I will get back to you immediately and we can schedule an appointment for an initial consultation. As self paying clients, you can decide on the frequency and timing of the sessions.
Initial consultation
In an initial consultation, both partners have time to describe their situation. Most couples take 6-10 sessions to arrive at new agreements Initially, we may meet every 2 weeks. Then the intervals can be longer. Many couples return to me for a couple of sessions year after year.
Each session lasts 60-90 minutes, during which we take time to create a new experience.
Couples therapy
Couple therapy is based mainly on systemic humanistic and family therapy theories. I always allow my strong intuition to adapt to your individual needs.Â
An in-depth psychological approach is especially important with trauma-sensitive couples.Â
I will help you to overcome fears and obstacles in your life.
I am
alternative practitioner for psychotherapy
My expertise is to help you cope with personal problems, psychological load, stress and burnout.
My wish is to harmonise your feelings with your thinking and the actions you take.
My work applies a solution focused approach.
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Your questions about couple therapy
As a couples therapist, I hold an equal distance from both partners. That’s important, because both have to trust me. Friends tend to take sides. This usually exacerbates the conflicts. Also, a therapist is more likely to discover hidden problems than a friend.
Perhaps a traumatic experience in childhood made you unable to endure a toothpaste tube that your partner forgot to close… a friend will not understand such a “quirk” and will not see why something usually insignificant triggers a conflict.
Try to explain kindly why you want couples therapy. Avoid assigning blame and be as specific as possible. Instead of saying, “I want you to listen to me again,” say, “I think I found someone who can help us understand what is important to us.” request to try at least a few hours of couples therapy.
Reflect together how small the investment could be in comparison to everything you could loose.
Sometimes it seems that problems only arise during couples therapy. In reality, the main problem in a relationship, which the couple had previously carefully avoided, became apparent during therapy. Sometimes the realization even leads to separation and an unhappy couple becomes two happy singles.
